Humor Files - lightbulb

Q:  How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:  12 to investigate Clinton's involvement in the failure of the old
bulb; 23 to deregulate the lightbulb industry;16 to cut funding for
alternative lighting research and development;34 to cut the tax rate
on lightbulbs; 53 to design a block grant so the states can change the
bulb; and 41 to talk with defense contractors about using night-vision
gear instead.

Q:  How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:  24 to block the Clinton investigation, and 1 to fire a designated
nominee; 46 to increase regulation of the lightbulb industry, and
investigate import balance; 32 to increase funding for alternative
lighting research and development; 68 to increase the tax rate on
lightbulbs; 106 to cancel the block grant to the states and create a
federal Department of Light Bulb Investigations; and 82 to cancel the
contract with defense  contractors about everlasting light bulbs.

Q.  How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A.  How many can you afford?

Q.  How many senior managers does it take to change a light bulb?
A.  We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs
burn out and to figure out what, exactly, we as managers can do to
make the light bulbs work smarter, not harder.

Q.  How many Help Desk people does it take to change a light bulb?
A.  PC Repair has received your mail concerning your hardware problem
and has assigned your request Service Order Number 39712.   Please use
this number for any future reference to this case of trouble. As soon
as a technician becomes available, you will be contacted.

Q.  How many support staff people does it take to change a light bulb?
A.  We have an exact copy of the light bulb here and it seems to be
working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have?  Ok. Just
exactly how dark is it?  Ok.  There could be four or five things
wrong. Have you tried the light switch?

Q.  How many integration testers does it take to change a light bulb?
A.  We just find the problem. We don't fix them.

Q.  How many developers does it take to change a light bulb?
A.  The light bulb works fine on the systems in all other offices. Why
would YOURS not work?

Q.  How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A.  That's a hardware problem.

Q.  How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A.  Tell software to code around it.

Q.  How many contract programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A.  Two. One always quits in the middle of the project.

Q.  How many help desk techs does it take to change a light bulb?
A.  I think that's a device driver problem.

Q.  How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A.  472. One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write
WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle...

Q.  How many C++ programmer's does it take to change a light bulb?
A.  You're still thinking procedurally.  A properly designed light
bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb
class, so all you'd have to do is send it a bulb change message.