Humor Files - george

		Curious George and the High Voltage Fence
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	Once in the jungles of South America, there lived a monkey
named George.  George was very curious, that's why the man in the
Yellow hat named him Curious George.  What an imagination.

	Anyway, after some fiasco with spaghetti and a broom, the man
with the yellow hat took George home with him to the city, no doubt to
exploit the little beast.

	Well, as I already mentioned, George was Curious; hence the
brilliant nickname, so it was no surprise when fate found him with a
hooker on one arm, and a case of Labatts under the other, but that's
another story, kids.

	On the day our story takes place, the man with the yellow hat
woke up at 7:00 am and went to work.  Didn't even take a shower, OR
change his underwear.  Well, what can you expect from someone who
wears a YELLOW cowboy hat.

	So, anyway, George left right after the man did.  He liked
being outside in the big bad world---so many things to see, people to
do...  Today he went to Norman's---America's thrifty clothing store.
He wanted a hat just like the man with the yellow hat's so that he
could use his id to get into the bars.  On his way in, he pinched the
security guard's butt for good luck.  No one ever questioned him---he
was a monkey.  He didn't know any better (yeah right).

	Curious George walked down the first aisle.  Eiwww!  thought
George.  Fifteen old ladies scrambling through a pile of Polyester
Bendovers.  He changed aisles.  This was more like it!  There were
little boy clothes EVERYWHERE!  ALL IN HIS SIZE!

	So the sick perverted undersized ape put on all kinds of
outfits!  Checks and stripes, patterns and tye-dyes.  They all looked
terrific!  So Curious George gathered the clothes together and walked
toward the checkout register.  The cashier rang it up.

	"Twenty-three fourty-seven."
	George reached for his front pocket.  OOPS!  He didn't HAVE a
front pocket.

	George reached for his back pocket, but there was only his big
hairless butt. What would he do???

	On impulse, George grabbed the clothes and ran for the door.

	He ran and ran through the streets of the city, as people
pointed and said, "You know, I like the monkeys with hairy butts."
and "Aww, isn't that cute."

	He ran until he was met with a sign.  It said,
          
			CORRECTIONAL FACILITY
                 Tresspassers not allowed.

	But George couldn't read, so he just went in.  He ran past the
guard with the shotgun.  He ran past the Security vans and the guard
tower.  He ran to a big metal fence.

	It read


		HIGH VOLTAGE

	George figured it said something like, "Welcome!"  or  "Honk
if you love Jesus!" So he decided he should climb it and see what was
there.  There were men on the other side.  They were waving to him,
and cheering him on.  He saw they had striped outfits just like one of
his own.  They laughed and cheered as he put it on.

	"Come on, you stupid ape!"
	"It's nice over here, monkey!"  they yelled.


	George thought it would be nice to be with people so friendly
so he jumped very high and grabbed the fence.

	It is good that George was thinking happy thoughts, because it
was probably more enjoyable for him when the 5000 volts shook through
him like an orgasm (ask your mommy if you don't understand) and his
eyes bugged out.  The men cheered as the smell of monkey flesh burning
from the inside out hit them.  George shook, flinched, fell and it was
over.  The men went back inside.  The guards took the clothes back to
the store.  The man with the yellow hat got laid on his lunch hour....

	So you see, kids, death can strike at anytime.  But if it's a
curious monkey, don't worry about it.  Life goes on, kids!.