Humor Files - compprob

COMPUTER PROBLEM REPORT FORM

Instructions: When you experience a computer problem, complete this form
and return it to your system administrator or parole officer.

  1. Describe your problem:
     __________________________________________

  2. Now, describe the problem accurately:
     __________________________________________

  3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
     __________________________________________

     __________________________________________

  4. Problem Severity:
     A. Minor__
     B. Minor__
     C. Minor__
     D. Trivial__

  5. Nature of the problem:
     A. Locked Up__
     B. Frozen__
     C. Hung__
     D. Shot__

  6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__

  7. Is it turned on? Yes__ No__

  8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes__ No__

  9. Have you made it worse? Yes__

  10. Have you read the manual? Yes__ No__

  11. Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes__ No__

  12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No__

  13. Do you think you understood it? Yes__ No__

  14. If `Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself?
      _________________

  15. How tall are you?  Are you above this line? __________________

  16. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem
      occurred?
      ______________________________________________________

  17. If `nothing' explain why you were logged in.
      ________________________________________________________________

  18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes__ No__

  19. How does this problem make you feel? ____________________________

  20. Tell me about your childhood. ___________________________________

  21. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem? Yes__ No__

  22. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me? Yes__

  23. Did you have a similar problem on another computer that magically
      solved itself? Yes___

  24. If so, please describe the situation in detail (including the part
      where you blame your kid or wife for trashing the machine and how
      you valiantly saved it)__________________________________________

  25. Did you install new software that could be conflicting with your
      particular program? Yes___ No___

  26. Do you understand the term software? No___

  27. Now, did you install new software and cancel in the middle and mess
      your machine up because you are an idiot and don't understand the
      first thing about installing software? Yes___

  28. Validate for me the fact that YOUR computer has a mind of its own.



  29. Do you understand the phrase "Garbage in, Garbage out"? No___

  30. Do you own a copy of Microsoft for Dummies book? Yes___

  31. Are you a dummy? Yes___