Humor Files - clintontax

                         April 15, 1997  
  
  
       The Top 14 Deductions on Bill Clinton's Tax Return  
  
  
  
14> Expenses incurred during "Diplomatic Missions" to Nevada's 
    "Mustang Ranch."  
  
13> 365 "Value Meal" business lunches.  
  
12> Capital gain: Gennifer Flowers;  Capital loss: Paula Jones  
  
11> Colombian "catnip" as prescribed by the First Cat's 
    veterinarian.  
  
10> Duct tape, rope and locks for Roger's room.  
  
 9> Lincoln's Bedroom listed as Bed and Breakfast in Schedule C.  
  
 8> McDonald's deep fryer, installed in home gym.  
  
 7> Ghost of Eleanor Roosevelt claimed as a dependent.  
  
 6> Bar bill from the "Hail to the Chief Room" at Hooters.  
  
 5> $21,327 to Ronald McDonald House...  No, wait -- that's just 
    McDonald's.  
  
 4> Hotline to Vatican for emergency confessions.  
  
 3> Chrome busty-babe silhouette mudflaps on Air Force One landing
    gear.  
  
 2> $10,000 for "I kicked Dole's ass!" bumper stickers.  
  
  
    and the Number 1 Deduction on Bill Clinton's Tax Return...  
  
  
 1> Three words: Hookers, hookers, hookers!